Learn English Through English Story

My unforgivable English love story

“This is one of my learning English through English story – My unforgivable English love story .”

In grade 7, a new person joined my class. It was a girl. A Muslim girl. Since I live in Europe, this was quite a big deal. Over the years, we started talking a bit, and I slowly began to realize that I was starting to like her. A lot. She was beautiful and smart at the same time. Other than the fact that we both had roots from the same country, we had a lot in common. As I grew older, I started to think about my future. I dreamed of marrying her, and I really thought we were meant to be. I mean, what are the odds of such a perfect girl moving to my city, my school, and joining MY specific class? I thought it was destiny. I thought it was a gift from Allah.

However, things started going downhill from here. My whole life did. Earlier, I had told a few selected people that I was in love with this girl, and they really thought we were a perfect fit as well. However, one of the other girls, who turned out to be a close friend of my love, had talked to her, and this girl had already asked her what she thought of me. (I’m assuming that was because we were both from the same country.) It turned out that she did not feel the same way at all.

My heart was broken. Crushed into pieces. This was the first (and still only) time I had ever experienced such mental pain. How could this happen? I did not understand what was going on. I tried convincing myself that I only fell in love with her because she was the only Muslim girl I had talked to that much. However, still to this day, many years later, I still can’t get her out of my head. I have met tons of Muslim girls since that, but I still think she is one of a kind.

I tried to forget her. I really did. However, since we were in the same class, I had to see her literally every single day. It did not get better. We did talk after this incident, which was a nice feeling – but there was always a big elephant in the room. We both saw it, but none of us talked about it. It was like this throughout all of high school. Because of this depression, my social life got affected as well. I don’t know how it happened, but all of a sudden I stopped meeting up with my friends. My personality also changed to a more calm, serious, and nervous nature. My parents started noticing this too, but I’ve never told them about all of this. (I’m still too shy to talk about such things with them.) This made my last couple of years on that school incredibly tough – much more than they should’ve been.

Then the graduation day finally came. “This is probably the last time I will ever see her,” I thought. We all said goodbye to each other, and it was quite hard, but because of my sudden change in personality many years ago, no one seemed to care about me. You would think that the people I’ve met every single day for 10 years would be much closer to me. In fact, I don’t talk to any of them anymore. Nevertheless, the hardest one to say goodbye to was definitely the girl. However, as I used to live very close to her, we met a couple of times outside. We had some nice chats, and the fact that I now went to another school helped me forget her a bit – but I was still scared (and I still am to this day).

One day, I browsed my Facebook homepage casually as I saw a status by the girl’s younger brother. It said that they had moved to another city. This was very difficult for me to accept. Prior to that, I at least had SOME chance to see her somewhere outside, but I now started to realize that I will never see her again. And I still haven’t. She disappeared. She’s gone.

It has been two years. Due to me having the ability to restart my life by meeting a bunch of new people in my new school, I decided I wanted to try to improve my life. I wanted it to be as good as it was before I met the girl. I kept praying and asking Allah for help as much as I could, and thankfully, it paid off. My life improved slowly. I am now in a much better state than before. I still occasionally think of the girl, but every time she comes to mind I am usually able to tell myself that it’s over and that there’s nothing I can do.

Here’s the catch: While I generally feel better now, something weird happens every now and then. Just when I think I’m over it, I start to bump into her! Not in real life physically, but literally in every other place. I was once reading the local newspaper, and there was a photo of her in an article about her school. The picture gave me a huge flashback and reminded me of the terrible times I had gone through. Every time I see a picture of her, it happens. And I often see photos of her in the weirdest places! It’s like Allah does not want me to forget about her. Earlier today, I saw a friend of mine had posted a picture featuring a lot of people – and the girl was one of them. Today, almost 10 years later, I still encounter her in the weirdest ways, and I get the same feeling every time it happens.

That photo is the reason why I’m posting this right now. I can’t stop looking at her. She is still as beautiful as I remember her. I wish I could get another chance to meet her as I’ve learned a lot since the early days… I just don’t think it will ever happen. I know there is nothing I can do, and I know Allah is doing all this to test me. I just keep thinking, “why me? Have I not suffered enough yet?”

The worst thing is that now I’m getting older, people start discussing marriages. I don’t know if I will ever be able to love someone as much as I loved that girl. And even if I do, will I ever be able to forget her? It has been so long, and I still haven’t. I can’t stop thinking about my future. What will happen? Will I be happy? No one knows but Allah…

I’m very sorry that this post turned out to be this long. I could’ve easily made it longer, but I think I will stop here for your sake. If you read all of this, thank you very much. You have no idea how much it is appreciated. Feel free to comment if you’d like. I don’t expect anything special out of your replies, as I already know I just need to move on… I just want to know if anyone actually read this. This was written because I needed to share it – and now I did.

The End of the My unforgivable English love story.

Thank you for reading my My unforgivable English love story. This English story is one of my “Learn English Through English Story” series blog posts. I hope you enjoy reading my My unforgivable English love story today.

Thanks a bunch for your time – may Allah help you through tough times in your life.

Allah Hafiz

Shafayet Ali.